Tag Archives: Oysters

In the name of research… I’ll even eat oysters.

It’s no secret that I love sea food of almost all kinds. So do my leading ladies. Sophie is quite famous for her addiction to all things prawn and lobster. However, there was a gap in my seafood repertoire. Or my mollusc repertoire, to be precise. Oysters.

I’ve always fancied the idea of oysters, but I’d never gotten round to trying any. And then I started overthinking the whole thing and decided I could live quite well without. Until, that was, I put oysters into Alex and Casey’s mouths:

That’ll teach me not to try.’ Alex felt stupid for a moment, but then he succumbed to the funny side.

‘I haven’t had woman yet,’ he gulped. ‘Gosh, what must he be thinking?’

As if on cue, the waiter reappeared. He set down a large plate of fresh oysters on the table and smiled widely.

‘On the ‘ouse. For the ‘oney-mooners.’ He turned and spoke directly to Alex. ‘So you can ‘ave woman tonight.’ He placed air quotation marks around “‘ave”. Alex gaped at him open-mouthed while Casey snorted into her napkin once more.

Alex felt heat rising from the tips of his toes right up his body and into his head. His ears burned with embarrassment. It took him several seconds before he could speak.

‘Did he… Did he think… He didn’t think I was asking for an aphrodisiac, did he?’

Casey lifted her shoulders. She reached across the table to squeeze his hand. ‘I wouldn’t worry about it.’ She dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘Maybe you’ve inadvertently hit on the secret phrase to get free oysters in this place.’

Alex was still in shock. ‘But this is so… it’s so… it’s rude!’

‘Shh,’ Casey admonished him. ‘Now you’re being rude.’ She gave his hand a final stroke before she released her grip and sat back. Tentatively, she poked at one of the oysters with an index finger. The slimy centre of the mollusc quivered at her touch, and Casey yelped softly. ‘Eurgh! How can people eat these?’

From: 7 Years Bad Sex by Nicky Wells.

Now I wrote that scene without ever having tasted oysters, and that didn’t sit well with me. How could I be sure that Alex and Casey would feel about these squidgy little things in the way I described? How could I even be sure that they are squidgy little things?

So during a recent family holiday to France, I bit the proverbial bullet and had a go. It helped that we found ourselves with some very good French friends in Arcachon, the very oyster capital of France. Here goes…

First, the shucking…

Okay, baby, I can do this.

Okay, baby, I can do this.

Careful now, that knife is sharp. Come on, give it up, you sucker.

Careful now, that knife is sharp. Come on, give it up, you sucker.

Nearly done.

Nearly done.

Next, the presentation.

Ta-da! (And no way I'm going to eat all of these!)

(And no way I’m going to eat all of these!)

Lastly, the eating.

The proof of the oyster is in the eating, yada yada. Ready, steady…

Right. So this goes in my mouth...

Right. So this goes in my mouth…



And swallow.

And swallow.

It's kinda...

It’s kinda…



...and watery, but not necessarily unpleasant...

…and watery, but not necessarily unpleasant…

I survived! I didn’t shuck-them-up. And I didn’t end up in hospital, contrary to hubs’ dire prediction.

Would I eat them again? Sure! Would they be my first choice? Err… no. And what did I really think? Well, I put those words straight in Casey’s mouth, so you can find out for yourself…

Have you ever tried oysters? What did you think?

Would you risk it? Announcing the release of my brand new romantic comedy “7 Years Bad Sex”

It’s out today! Hooray!

 Yes! You can get 7 Years Bad Sex right now.

7 Years Bad Sex Nicky Wells


Get your Kindle copy here: Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon DE | Amazon CA and on any other Amazon domain.

Of course I’m bringing you paperbacks too. They’re also available from Amazon.

What’s the story?

7Years_NewTeaser1 One wedding. One curse? Disaster ever after…

A seven-years-bad-sex curse? Surely not! Yet something went wrong when rock singer Casey and drummer Alex got married on that beautiful yacht anchored off St Tropez in the south of France. Something went badly wrong. For even on their wedding night, the young couple discovers a complete and somewhat surprising inability to make love. Muddling through their honeymoon with a string of thin excuses for their predicament, the lovers defer finding a solution (and panicking) until the return to their home in London. After all, they married for life and to make rock music, not for the love of sex. Right?

But when they resume life as normal in London, all hell breaks loose. Increasingly frantic in their quest for release, the unhappy newlyweds embark on a string of hilarious and occasionally harmful antics that drives them, their band, and an assortment of random strangers to the brink of despair. But it ain’t over ‘til it’s over or, in this case… it ain’t over ‘til the newlyweds sing.

Here’s what some advance readers thought of 7 Years Bad Sex

7 Years Bad Sex is a witty, intelligent, and hilariously funny romantic comedy that aims to please… Or not, as the case may be. A must read!’ Kelly at Perusing Princesses

7 Years Bad Sex is going to be one of those books that everyone is talking about. A fantastic story, engaging plot, and totally wonderful main characters to fall in love with.’ JB Johnston at Brook Cottage Books

‘Fun and romantic, with a touch of rock and roll, 7 Years Bad Sex is a light-hearted look at what happens to one newlywed couple when they are unable to consummate their marriage—I couldn’t put it down!’ Jonita Fex at The Book Chick

‘A fantastic refreshing change, but who would have thought characters not having sex would stress me out so much? Absolutely hilarious too. Loved it!’ Rachel Miles at Love Between the Sheets

 Obviously I’m biased, but I think 7 Years Bad Sex is your Must-Read this summer! Here are those buy links again:

You can get your Kindle copy here: Amazon UK | Amazon US | Amazon DE | Amazon CA

In the name of research…

This story sees Casey and Alex try out all manner of unusual, wonderful and occasional weird strategies to re-ignite their sex life. Natural aphrodisiacs feature on the agenda fairly early on when Alex inadvertently talks his way into getting a free serving of fresh oysters in a fancy restaurants The results… you can find those in your very own copy of 7 Years Bad Sex.

However. I wrote this part of the story with absolutely no knowledge of what oysters would look like, feel like, and **gulps** taste like. Therefore, on a recent family visit to France, I bit the bullet and did some research after the fact… More about that soon, but here’s my initial reaction.


And the verdict? I put my words in Casey’s mouth, no pun intended. Let’s just say… it wasn’t all bad. LOL! I’ll tell you the full story about my oyster tasting next week.

Thank you, as always, and…

…happy reading! I guarantee you one thing apart from many a laugh and breathless moment whilst reading this romantic comedy. When you’ve finished reading, you’ll never toast anyone ever again without making eye contact! Or would you risk it? 🙂 😉