Hello my friends! I’m back!
Oh, how I’ve missed you all! Thank you for bearing with me during my radio silence since early January. But indeed I’ve kept my promise: I’m back. And I’ve written you a new book!
Ta-da! Very proud of my latest masterpiece. Novel #7 — 7 Years Bad Sex!
It’s a romantic comedy, and here’s another promise: it’s unlike anything you’ve ever read before. Check out the blurb:
7 Years Bad Sex
One wedding. One curse? Disaster ever after…
A seven-years-bad-sex curse? Surely not! Yet something went wrong when rock singer Casey and drummer Alex got married on that beautiful yacht anchored off St Tropez in the south of France. Something went badly wrong. For even on their wedding night, the young couple discovers a complete and somewhat surprising inability to make love. Muddling through their honeymoon with a string of thin excuses for their predicament, the lovers defer finding a solution (and panicking) until the return to their home in London. After all, they married for life and to make rock music, not for the love of sex. Right?
But when they resume life as normal in London, all hell breaks loose. Increasingly frantic in their quest for release, the unhappy newlyweds embark on a string of hilarious and occasionally harmful antics that drives them, their band, and an assortment of random strangers to the brink of despair. But it ain’t over ‘til it’s over or, in this case… it ain’t over ‘til the newlyweds sing.
Want some more? Okay, here goes…
There was a stunned silence in the room while Alex and Casey tried to assimilate the importance of this statement. Casey was hot and cold all over. She remembered all too well her conversation with Alex on the yacht after they had trawled through the wedding video. He had pointed out to her even then that she hadn’t looked at him.
Casey shivered. She caught Alex’s eye and saw nothing but utter confusion. ‘I told you,’ he seemed to mouth at her, but he was shrugging at the same time as though to say, ‘I haven’t got a clue what that means.’ Seconds ticked by slowly. Liza was still standing up, one fist raised in an air punch. Sasha had taken one of Casey’s hands as though she needed comforting.
Eventually Alex spoke. ‘Maybe we didn’t look at each other. So what?’
Liza and Sasha shared another look. ‘The Seven Years Bad Sex Curse!’ they shouted as one.
Alex burst out laughing. ‘The Seven Years Bad Sex Curse?’ he repeated. ‘You’re taking the mickey, right?’
Myles was chuckling so hard, he toppled over sideways on the sofa and had to hold his stomach. ‘That’s why we had to rush over here? To tell them about a Seven Years Bad Sex Curse?’
‘Laugh all you want,’ Liza said calmly. ‘But you’re watching it in action.’
Casey swallowed hard. She didn’t believe in curses. They were nothing but delusory superstitions from the middle ages. But still, both Sasha and Liza looked utterly serious.
‘So—so what does that curse entail?’ Casey asked, her voice almost a whisper.
Sasha produced her smartphone and called up a website. ‘It says here,’ she says, ‘that’s there’s a superstition in many parts of southern Europe about how not looking at each other when clinking glasses during a toast brings couples seven years bad sex.’ She angled her phone so that everyone could see the screen.
‘And you were in France when you committed this ritualistic mishap,’ Liza offered helpfully. ‘So that definitely applies.’
Save the date…
7 Years Bad Sex Cover reveal: 23 April 2015
7 Years Bad Sex Pre-order release via Amazon: 4 May 2015
7 Years Bad Sex Official launch day: 14 May 2015
More promises to keep!
When I left for my social media blackout to focus on writing my next masterpiece, I promised I’d be back with a bang. Well, just in case a finished book due to hit the market in less than two months isn’t enough of a bang, I’ve also thought up a double celebration strategy. Are you ready?
Over the years, I’ve had an incredible amount of support, help and guidance from an amazing group of bloggers. I want to return the favour. I want to share the love! Therefore in honour of 7 Years Bad Sex and my return to the social media world, I’m going to say ‘Thank You’ to those amazing people out there via a series of ‘Blogger Spotlights’ which will feature on my blog on Thursdays from 19 March onwards. Be sure to stop by and check out what makes those bloggers so very special!
…and resurrecting Music Monday!
7 Years Bad Sex simply cries out for a movie deal,
and I’ve got the soundtrack ready in my head for when that day arrives. With that, in the run up to the release of my most fantastic romantic comedy to date, I’ll be sharing my playlist with you every Monday, starting from 23 March 2015. I hope you’re ready to dream, boogie, and rock out!
How’s that for coming back in style?
I hope you’ll all join me in the preparations and celebrations for 7 Years Bad Sex. Meanwhile, thanks again for bearing with me. You won’t be disappointed!
Loveya to bits and see you soon…